- "Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!" - Anonymous
- "An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her." - Agatha Christie
- "Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others." - Oscar Wilde
- "Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper." - Scottish Proverb
- "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." - Sam Kinison
- "A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free." - Anonymous
- "Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too." - H. L. Mencken
- "Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier." - H. L. Mencken
- "A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle." - U2
- Marriage is a three ring circus
- engagement ring
- wedding ring
- "When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why." - Anonymous
- "Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener." - Anonymous
- "When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife." - Anonymous
- "I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back." - Anonymous
- I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
- "We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops." - Anonymous
- "My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours That was only for the estimate." - Anonymous
- "Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'y' becomes silent." - Anonymous
- "She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off." - Anonymous
- She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in!"
- "If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog of course...atleast he'll shut up after you let him in!" - Anonymous